


After the Rain

by lololaufeyson



Category: Saw (Movies)
Genre: Adam is trans!, First Kiss, First Time, Love Confessions, M/M, well lawrence is a doctor he figures it out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-02-04 17:47:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12776199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lololaufeyson/pseuds/lololaufeyson
Summary: Adam and Lawrence confess in the rain and Lawrence takes him home





	After the Rain

Lawrence was anxious, to be honest, to see Adam again afterwards. This would be the fourth time they spoke after group, but he wasn’t so sure if it was going to happen. Adam wouldn’t look at him the entire session, which was disheartening, but he wasn’t surprised. They’d spoke over coffee at a small 24-hour diner just down the block from their group. It wasn’t great, but it was hot and cheap. The first time they spoke about what they’d been up to in the last couple of years since they last saw each other. The second time it was about current events: politics, weather, technology. The last time it was about the bathroom. It was tense. They both spoke exactly their mind, blaming the other for their pain. There was yelling, frustrations pouring out of them. The owner kicked them out and they shouted a while on the street, but they realized they were saying the same thing. “I’m angry at you because of what you did to me, but I’m just as angry at myself for blaming you because I hurt you too.” It was quiet after that. Lawrence apologized and offered to give him a ride home again, but he told him it was fine, that he’d walk, and he left.

Lawrence was barely listening to the therapist, glancing to Adam who was busy looking anywhere else. He couldn’t help but wonder what Adam and his therapist spoke about this week, if it was anything like what Lawrence and his did. Truth is, he was scared to death Adam was going to leave again. It was like seeing Adam, knowing he was real, was somehow proof that the bathroom was real, that it wasn’t some sick fever dream.   
He was lost in thought until the sound of everyone getting up brought him back. He shook his head and stood up, scanning the room. Adam was already gone. Lawrence rushed as much as he could to his car. It had started pouring since he arrived and in the few seconds it took for him to get from the entryway into his car, he was soaked, but it didn’t deter him from what he was set on doing. It may have been stupid, but he was scared, so he had to. He had to tell Adam that he didn’t want him to leave again.

Driving just slow enough to piss off the people behind him, Lawrence scanned the sidewalks, barely able to see through the rain. He sighed, spotting him a few blocks down the way and pulled over, cars honking angrily as they sped past him. 

Lawrence crawled along and turned down his window. 

“Adam!” He shouted.

He ignored him, trudging on, hands shoved into his oversized pockets.

“Adam? Is everything okay?”

Nothing.

“Hey, Adam!” Lawrence got a little ahead of him, then parked and got out. It always took a little bit to get in and out of the car. 

“Adam.” Lawrence caught up with him and grabbed his shoulder.

Adam whipped around and hit Lawrence’s hand away. “Don’t touch me!”

“What’s wrong? What did I do?”

“Just!-” He glared at him for a moment and took a breath. “How are you so calm and collected about everything? I’m barely holding myself together, years later, and I didn’t even have to saw my own foot off! All I did was sit there!” Adam rubbed his own shoulder.

“What makes you think I’m so calm about it?” Lawrence took a step towards him.

Adam scoffed. “Look at you! Dressed up in your suits, pressed and primed, groomed, all put together like nothing even happened. It’s like it never even bothered you!” 

“Of course, it bothers me! Of course, it does! It bothers me every day of my life! My nerves are shot, frayed, fearing for my life every time I get out of my car, every time I see a bathroom, every time I look down, every time I take a step, I’m reminded of what happened to me… of what happened to you.”

Adam stood there, speechless, unsure why he was angry in the first place. He had been angry for so long. He had every question answered, had all the therapy in the world. He wasn’t angry about being abducted from his home, about getting electrocuted, or shot, or sitting in his own filth for days, or having to move because he couldn’t so much as look at his old apartment, or that he had no money, no job, no family, no friends, and the government wouldn’t help, no… he was angry with himself. 

So, there they stood, soaked to the bone, shivering, the rain crashing down all around so loud they could barely hear themselves think. 

“Lawrence, I…” Adam sighed, every muscle in his body tensing, “I love you.”

Lawrence felt the air sucked out of his lungs and he blinked a few times and scoffed, eyes wide, a smile crept its way across his face.

“Yeah, laugh, it’s ridiculous, just… go.” 

Adam turned to leave when, in a moment, Lawrence was on him, impossibly fast. Time slowed, stuttering like frames, pictures from a camera. Smooth, worn hands slid expertly forward, rehearsed, practiced, gently but firmly taking hold of Adam’s cheeks. Cane abandoned, discarded, it’s handler with a more important place to be, smacking onto the concrete drowned by the rain. Lawrence closed his eyes, slow, pressing his lips to Adam’s, resolute, unwavering, no doubt what he was doing was right, sure for the first time in years, relieved, alive.

Adam melted, slotting himself into place against him, like he was made to, wrapping his arms tightly around him, fingers tightly grasping the fabric of Lawrence’s sweater, clinging to him, almost afraid he wasn’t really there and that he’d disappear any moment. The rain sounded like the static he felt in his fingertips every day, now on fire, burning every inch of skin touching him, being touched by him. 

An umbrella, from a random passerby bumped into Lawrence and he pulled away, just an inch, Adam following, resting his forehead against his. Their breath warming their cheeks, already pink with joy, relief. 

“I’ve had feelings for you since before you even met me.” Adam confessed. 

Lawrence almost laughed, a soft snort, a scoff.

Adam pulled back just far enough to look Lawrence in the eye. “I watched you for weeks before we met, remember? Your favorite coffee is a caramel mocha latte, you’d rather read People than a newspaper, you have some weird aversion to breakfast because you don’t eat until lunch, you own more coats than I do shirts and they’re all designer, you care more about your patients than you let on because you don’t want people to see you when you’re weak, you are so good with Diana that it was like watching some sort of story book come to life whenever I saw you together, you cheated on Alison because you didn’t love her, at least not anymore, and part of me hoped it was because you were gay and just didn’t know it, and I was so angry with myself for hoping that instead of hoping you and Alison would get better.”

“Is that why you left without saying goodbye?” Lawrence examined his face.

“Yes and no. I didn’t want to ruin what you two still had and I knew if I stayed, I would’ve said something. But I also couldn’t stay because-”

“He took you from your home.”

“Yeah.” Adam sighed.

“So why did you storm out tonight?” Lawrence stroked Adam’s cheek with his thumb.

“I knew if I spent much more time with you, I’d tell you, so I thought it would be better if I left after getting you mad at me instead of… just disappearing again.”

“Oh Adam…”

“You should be getting home, Alison will worry.” Adam took his hands away and pulled Lawrence’s hands off him. Any trace of happiness fled from Adam’s face and the static returned to his fingertips. He bent down and picked up his cane for him.

Lawrence clasped his hand over Adam’s on the cane. “I haven’t seen her since I moved here, by myself, a few weeks after you left, and I haven’t spoken to her since a little after that.”

Adam let out almost a strangled cry, a sob.

“No, no, hey it wasn’t your fault. You were right. I haven’t felt much for Alison in a long time and I think I was only holding it together for Diana. It only got worse after the bathroom. I was… distant, hateful. She visited me in the hospital and I could barely look at her. We fought more often than not and when I got home I knew there really was nothing left. I told her. I wanted to be honest, and I think she knew too, because…she just asked me to go. I don’t think she meant a thousand miles away, but you know.” Lawrence smiled, trying to make it lighter.

Adam pressed his head to Lawrence’s chest.

“Come on. Let’s get out of the rain.”   
____________________________________________________

Lawrence unlocked his door and let Adam in. “You can,” Lawrence peeled his coat off and hung it on the tree, “use the shower. In my bedroom, second door.” He peered over at Adam, who wordlessly headed for it. He looked like a drowned rat, in clothes twice his size, dripping all over the carpet.

Lawrence waited until he heard the water run to shuck his clothes off. He didn’t realize how cold he was until the stagnant air of the apartment was covering him and he quickly threw on some warm pjs, grabbing a second pair and putting it just inside the bathroom on the counter. Adam was humming something quietly, must not have noticed him open and close the door. 

When Adam emerged from the bathroom, a cloud of steam rolled in the air, coiling tendrils spreading warmth throughout the whole apartment. Lawrence stared. Adam in cotton pj pants three sizes too big, shirtless- he gave him a shirt- water beading down his thin chest. He was too thin, gaunt, with a gnarled mess of scar tissue on his right shoulder and two long scars under his pecs, paler than the already ghostly surrounding skin. Lawrence raised his brow ever so slightly. He was a doctor after all, he knew exactly what those scars were. Would it be inappropriate to say that sort of explained a lot? Adam was a pretty small man, baggy clothes, short, thin, narrow shoulders, long eyelashes, full lips.

Lawrence swallowed. “I made coffee, and… pulled out the hide-a-bed.”

“A little late for coffee isn’t it?” Adam took the mug from Lawrence, their fingers touching. He was much warmer now. 

“Either that or really really early.” He smiled. 

Adam took a sip. “Almond?”

“Toffee almond. Is it okay?”

“It’s great.” Adam was already warm from the shower, but coffee did always have a way of seeping in and warming his soul. The water pressure was lovely, huge shower head, nice smelling soaps. It had been a while since he’d had a shower like that. The whole apartment was nice actually, at least what Adam had seen of it. It was almost laughable that while this was such a downgrade for Lawrence. Adam had never seen a place this nice. Big living room, cleanly decorated, matching furniture, some art. Actually… now that he thinks about it, it looked barely lived in, spotless.

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, it’s nothing really.”

They stood in comfortable silence for a moment, just warming up, eradicating that chill, but as the seconds ticked on it got more and more awkward, neither really knew what to say, what they should say. But Lawrence broke the silence.

“Adam, I-”

It was all he needed. Adam pressed himself against Lawrence and they stumbled backwards into the table just behind him where Adam managed to barely set his coffee down before kissing him fiercely. 

He nearly dropped his cup, by the surprise and by how forcefully Adam attached himself to him, although he did spill some, not that he cared at the moment. He also didn’t care as, once again, his cane fell to the ground, however quietly on the plush carpet. Lawrence hummed against Adam and set his cup down, feeling for the table behind him and let his hands move, instead, one to rest on the bare skin on the small of Adam’s back and the other the back of his head, pulling him in deeper.

For as much as the scent of cigarettes seemed to blanket Adam any other time, he smelled like strawberries and Dove; Lawrence’s soap.

Wiry hands snaked their way under the soft, pressed cotton shirt and smoothed across his chest and around his back, feeling the expanse of hot skin, before sliding back out to futz with the buttons.

“Adam.” Lawrence pulled back just enough to breathe and grabbed his wrist, slowing him down. “Adam, I’ve never- had sex with a man before, cis or trans.” His unsureness though not showing in his voice.

“It’s easy.” Adam ground against Lawrence’s leg, wordlessly showing him exactly what he had going on. “It’s like any other fun button you’ve played with, just a little bigger.” He kissed him again, Lawrence’s hand releasing his wrist and falling to his waist, and he made quick work of the loose, worn buttons. 

“C’mon.” Lawrence hoisted Adam up by his thighs

“Oh my god!” Adam laughed. “You’re a lot stronger than you look.” He wrapped his legs around Lawrence’s waist and draped his arms over his shoulders.

“Just gotta make sure I don’t fall over.” He smiled. Lawrence balanced himself, finding his center, then went the ten some odd steps to the bed as Adam peppered his head with kisses before he tossed him down onto the plush mattress.

“Do you have some Vaseline or something?”

“Not with a condom. It erodes latex.” Lawrence expertly limped into the bathroom which was still steamy from the shower.

Adam luxuriated on the bed, the quilt so soft, and the mattress… was this memory foam?

Lawrence came back out in only a few moments, shirt strewn towards the hamper. The sight of Adam, sunk deep onto his bed, arms above his head, knee up, writhing, all splayed out for him was… breathtaking.

“You learn something new every day.” Adam turned his head and looked at him.

Lawrence approached and rested his right knee on the bed, handing Adam a small bottle of lube. “They give them away at the clinic. I figured it never hurts to have some, so.” Lawrence rolled up his pant leg and took off the prosthetic before crawling up next to Adam. “How do you want to…?”

Adam pulled Lawrence down onto him, legs slid open, no hesitation and crashed their mouths together. No more talking. They could do that later. He ground their hips together, getting some much-desired friction going. These pants, though. He whined, curling his fingers under Lawrence’s waistband and tugging down. He wanted them off, but he also didn’t want to stop. 

Lawrence’s hands were firm on Adam’s waist and the crook of his neck. Their chests pressed together, what was dampness from water became dampness from sweat, the only reprieve from the skin on skin being a thin patch of hair on the center of Lawrence’s chest. “It would be easier,” Lawrence started, kissing Adam repeatedly, his lips plush, red, “if we got up for a minute.”

Adam agreed. He gently pushed Lawrence up and he sat upright, pulling his pants off, and Lawrence did the same. He only just managed to get them off before Adam climbed forward and pushed Lawrence onto his back. Finally, finally naked.

Lawrence could see his ribs on every inhale, watching Adam breathe as he snatched the bottle up and slicked his fingers.

Adam reached around himself and easily slid the two inside, pulling the ring of muscle, massaging it. It hadn’t been long since the last time he’d stretched himself open and luckily the muscle remembered. He leant back a bit and grabbed the condom for Lawrence who made quick work of it.

He felt a bit odd sitting there and just watching Adam finger himself, so he reached forward and ran his fingers down Adam’s chest and stopped around his clit. Just like any other, right? He ran his thumb over it and Adam hummed, smiling at Lawrence, encouraging him. It worked.

“Oh yes.” Adam moaned. Lawrence knew his way around apparently, rubbing circles, long drags, his self-supplied lube making it all the better. He pulled his fingers out and added more lube before inserting an additional finger. It was only barely a stretch. He almost laughed; that was sort of impressive. Thank God Lawrence wasn’t huge too. He didn’t want to take any longer to prep himself.

Adam sat up and pulled away from Lawrence, to resituate himself, turning around to stand on all fours. “Okay.” he grinned. “Come here.”

Lawrence stroked himself a few times, and got behind him, knees slotting inside Adam’s and took the bottle off the side table. He just wanted to be sure he wasn’t going to hurt him. Then, at long last, Lawrence slid slowly inside. 

He groaned, drawn out. It was different, that’ s for sure, but it was amazing: tight, wet, hot. He petted his hand down Adam’s back, the other resting on his thigh, teasing its way around.

Adam hissed and dropped his head forwards as he inched deeper and deeper until he felt Lawrence’s hips against him. That first bit is always the hardest. He breathed heavily, rocking against him, and took a couple experimental thrusts before letting Lawrence take over.

He drew himself all the way out, then back in, listening to all the little gasps and whines Adam made, fucking him slowly at first. Lawrence leaned down, chest pressing against Adam’s back, thighs against his, warm and slightly sweaty, and so unbelievably fucking real. He reached around back to Adam’s clit and started rubbing his alphabet.

Adam moaned particularly loudly, and he bit down on the meat of his thumb. He didn’t think the neighbors would appreciate a show.

Lawrence smiled against the skin between Adam’s shoulder blades; he couldn’t help but feel flattered, proud even that he could make a mess of Adam like this. He sped up, drawing long, interrupted chains of low whines out of him. 

Every cell in his body was on fire, alive, screaming at him. God had it really been so long since he had sex last that he was close already? It almost wasn’t even fair. 

Adam’s stuttered moans morphed into a soft laugh.

“What?” Lawrence breathed.

“Nothing I just- I had something like this exact situation in my spank bank for a while and let me tell you… it’s so much hotter in real life.” Adam arched his back and rolled his hips against Lawrence’s hand, trying to get more.

Lawrence grinned and panted. “Fucking hell, Adam, I’m-”

“Mmhm!” Adam bit his lip. He was close too.

Lawrence picked up on this and dialed in his ministrations and Adam went slack-jawed. One, two, three more strokes and Adam came, eyebrows pinched together, thighs spasming, toes curling. 

Lawrence followed closely behind, muscles squeezing around him. A loud cry and he came, fucking into Adam gently, slowly, nursing the waves of his orgasm. “Oh my God, Adam.” He collapsed onto the bed next to him, out of breath, every muscle in his body sore and jelly.

“Fuck, Lawrence.” Adam rolled over and rested his head on Lawrence’s shoulder. “That… I needed.” He laughed softly and smiled at Lawrence who gently swiped the hair out of his face.

Minutes later, the both of them fell asleep.  
____________________________________________________

Adam woke up mid-morning the next day, alone, the sun warm on his back. He took a deep breath and stretched. Adam got out of the bed and saw his clothes neatly folded on the table by the bed. They smelled freshly washed and he smiled.

Dressed and clean, he walked into the kitchen and saw a note on the fridge. “Had work. Help yourself to whatever you can find. Cups above the sink.” His phone number was on the bottom. Adam smiled warmly. It had been a long time since he felt this good. He examined the note. God, Lawrence’s handwriting was awful. Way to uphold the stereotype.


End file.
